The Morning After

I always want to blog about positive things.  I want to be a voice for higher vibrational living.  But some days I am in a great deal of pain.  Sharing this part of my journey is equally as important as sharing all the fun stuff.  And hopefully it will help another find their way through the, often lonely, sometimes bewildering and difficult path through chronic pain.  

There is a way through.  I do it regularly.  It is not fun, but I can attest to the fact that it can be a very growing, enlightening and inspiring experience.  In fact, it can sometimes be the very reason for a person to be on the spiritual path, learning to transform very difficult things into positive and helpful things.

It takes whatever it takes.  All roads lead to the same place.  I can do it peacefully and with positive intention, no matter my personal circumstances, or I can cause myself great discomfort--additional and unnecessary discomfort.   

I had such a wonderful time with my family yesterday, and the days before that, gathering supplies and doing prep work to do the Valentine's Day project and dinner with them!
  
The mornings of the day after Project Days I do can sometimes be very challenging for me.

I always try my very best to pace myself.  It is something I used to not do very well at all.  I have been beaten into submission about this.  (Translated--I have beaten myself into submission by, in the past, doing whatever I felt like, regardless of the consequences I knew would likely occur the next day if I pushed myself so hard.)

But sometimes, regardless of how well I plan and space out my work or myself, I still end up feeling like I've been run over by a Mack Truck the next day.

This is one of those days.

For me, chronic pain is about deep aching all over the place to the point of distraction.  My hands hurt, my lower back feels like it is going to give out and is shooting pain down my legs, my left foot/ankle is numb and feels like it is going to spasm and turn over.  My shoulders and upper arms and upper back are aching.  I am throbbing and aching at the core of my being nearly everywhere. 

I feel like I have been beaten with a 2" x 4" board.

Is it arthritis?  Is it the end results of multiple back surgeries and hand surgeries?  It is Fibromyalgia?  Am I just nuts?

Who knows!?!  Maybe it is all of these things. 

I have physical pain every day of my life.  It is the degree of pain that differs.

It is what I do with it and about it that makes the difference in my life. 

I have always been a very physically active person.  I love being very active!  But my body surely recoils greatly at times these days!  It has been like this for me since the last spinal fusion surgery I had in 2003.  I just never recovered from that surgery. 

I could get really depressed about this.

I could get really angry with myself about this and be a real grump with everyone, too.
 

I will take the day today, and just hang out by myself.  I will look for the gift in this pain and aching.  I will take a really long, hot shower.  That always helps relieve the aching some.  I will meditate.  I will do energy healing work for me and be as quiet and as peaceful as possible.

Surrendering to what is going on in my body, my mind and my spirit always makes things so much easier and better for me!

The intensity of feelings always pass eventually.  Fighting only makes the experience stay longer and/or hurt more.  So I will honor it, honor me and honor the process. 

 
I surely enjoyed myself with my family yesterday!  It was worth it!  They are worth it!  I will also spend the day today, remembering all the fun I had with them yesterday!

Love & Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara

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