Fibromyalgia seems to come in cycles. Sometimes they are short cycles. Sometimes they are longer--sometimes even MUCH LONGER. But the pain cycles, for certain. The brain fog cycles. There are many symptoms of Fibromyalgia for me, and all the symptoms cycle.
What is not certain is when these things return. I can't predict with certainty when the cycles get triggered. But I can predict more often than I used to be able to do.
Doing too many physically strenuous tasks definitely is a trigger.
Putting myself under a lot of stress in a short period of time definitely is a trigger.
Not getting enough sleep is a trigger--although, I do not sleep well no matter how much time I allow myself to sleep.
Even the weather seems to be a trigger!
The depression comes in cycles. It stems from the feelings of powerlessness over changing what is going on physically with me, about not feeling in charge of my life the way I once felt I was--or at least that I had the illusion of feeling about my life.
I used to feel victimized by symptoms swooping down out of...seemingly nowhere, and whacking the beejesus out of me.
Now I see there are patterns. I am still working on discovering and seeing the patterns--sooner, greater, bigger and learning to be much more responsible for myself about them.
Sometimes even great awareness does not change a thing.
I am much more accepting of what is, now. But I sometimes grieve the loss of the life I once had.
I could never again live the life I once did, though. I would not want to go through all that overwhelming stress and drama again.
I am glad I am learning to create boundaries, both for myself and for others in my life.
It has been a long, hard haul learning! But I am much more at peace now than ever previously in my life, (even when I am suffering with difficult symptoms.)
For this, I am very grateful!
There is beauty in all things--even those that are not the easiest things to traverse in life. I have found this to be especially true when it comes to my experiences with Fibromyalgia.
Staying in the present moment makes things much more doable!
Remembering to turn on the Light--and by that I mean my Spiritual Light, makes things much more doable!
It is not easy sometimes. But so far, it is definitely worth it.
Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara
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