Sometimes it feels like, "BAM!" Pain all over the place just swoops in my body--seemingly out of nowhere, and it lays me low! It is very peculiar how pain in me sometimes manifests.
I wake up every, single morning, in mega pain and have for many years. I thought this was just part of getting older. But I have been like this since I was about 25 years old. It has just gotten progressively more intense and it lasts longer and longer before the stiffness and pain I acquire while lying in bed during the night moves on. Eventually there grew to be days, then weeks, and then months that this pain hung around, sapping my energy and making me very crabby!
I thought everybody felt these things.
Apparently this is not so. At least not at 25 years of age. Maybe at 57, the age I am now, that makes more sense!
I am now certain that I have had Fibromyalgia since right after the second spinal surgery I had in 2003. I just never got over that surgery. I probably had bouts of it as far back as I can remember, even in adolescence.
But it came to visit a few years back and it has never left.
I am currently reading a book by Dr. David Edelberg called "Healing Fibromyalgia."
http://shop.wholehealthchicago.com/books-and-cds/healing-fibromyalgia.html
What Dr. Edelberg says makes a great deal of sense to me. He believes that Fibromyalgia is a low serotonin affliction--and that it is caused by way too much stress for way too long.
I am not certain that it is only stress that causes it. I am also leaning towards some genetic factors--which Dr. Edelberg also mentions, and I feel there are some other factors, yet undiscovered or acknowledged.
At any rate, Fibromyalgia is a huge challenge.
I think I carry 'holding' energy in my body--by default. I think it is the primary way that I go through my life. From my earliest memories, I braced myself, put on my Warrior Armor, pulled up my socks, pinned on a smile and trudged through whatever crisis was at hand. There always seemed to be stress and disorder.
I have always been hard at work, making lemonade out of lemons. I thought I was doing a great job of it, too! But, this kind of stress has had far reaching and long term consequences for me. Still, I firmly believe that there is a great gift somewhere in the midst of all difficulties. I have found many already in what I have experienced with Fibromyalgia. I am hanging on for others to manifest. I know they are there!
I firmly believe what Melanie Koulouris says in the quip of hers I have included here. In the meantime, I am putting down my sword, taking off my armor and sitting with an open heart and a willing attitude to continue on. I am hanging on for the ride, Trusting that all is unfolding in the most beneficial and highest order for me--no matter what it sometimes looks like! It always works out wonderfully, eventually!
Doing my very best to stay positive is hard, but really helps a bunch. Sometimes that means getting support from others. Sometimes it means staying open to things I would never have ever considered. Nothing is off the plate when dealing with difficulties as challenging as Fibromyalgia.
Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara
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