Communication Snags--Part 2

I have been unconsciously recreating the end result of a very old belief in my life in a particular area--that being my not being heard when I am requesting something and as an end result, not being able to receive that which I am requesting.  As a result of my history about this, I have a lifelong habit of doing my best to not need anything from another.  But I have found this is not really possible or even a reasonable expectation!

This recurring themed scenario keeps showing up in my life on an almost daily basis for last seven solid weeks.

It all has to do with communication.  

I believe this all means something.  My intuitive gut tells me that it means something huge.  This is a gigantic piece of spiritual work on deck--and for way more than just me, personally, at this time.  I know this because my work about this is triggering many folks in my family, too.

Everything all falls together and fits perfectly, like a hand in a glove.  My work mirrors for others their work.  Others work mirrors for me my work.

I feel that I am supposed to stay open and keep supporting others in this experience, encouraging us all and openly embracing and modeling the trusting of others, and the belief that we will keep showing up and going at it and through it together again and again until we each can break through the barriers and the miscommunication to hear the truth of what is being said or asked--without filters, without inaccurate translations.  And eventually, for all to be capable of receiving that which they are needing or wanting or requesting, if it is possible.

I know in my head that a lot of what is happening and much of what is being conveyed to me in these human interactions is not really about me--at least not the me of the present moment.  But it surely does feel very personal.  I keep doing my own healing work about these things, otherwise I would never be able to show back up with others with an open, willing, trusting and loving heart.  Being able to do these things is very important to getting through this. 

 
I love all of my family so very much!  They are all so very important to me!  I very much want to find the way through this so that successful communication can happen and that it happens as the normal outcome of all our communicating!

I have made some major headway in some pieces of this.  Frustrating though, is the reality that this stuff keeps repeating.  I feel like I am being tested again and again, to see if I really do get it and that I really have mastered the ability to keep coming back to a peaceful, loving and accepting place with myself and especially with others, no matter how difficult things have been to journey through together.

Without a doubt, the most effective communication skills that I have been able to muster in these communication challenges of late is a willing heart, a strong ability to keep showing up and trying again and most especially--continually returning to a place of deep compassion for myself and for those with whom I am attempting to communicate.  I wish I could always stay in that place of deep compassion.  For now, it is all I can do to keep returning to it and to be willing to try again, to try again with them all another day.

There are no bad guys in any of this, even though it could certainly be interpreted that way if one only looks at the surface of these kinds of interactions! 

I have gained a deep trust because of past experiences.  I know that there is something wonderful that exists somewhere in this experience!  

Somewhere in this experience there is a magnificent opportunity for a piece of growth, for gaining empowerment, for feeling great joy, and ultimately, for learning to be a more loving and compassionate human being!

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara 

Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

 Copyright 2013.  Transformation of a Mystic.  Barbara F. Manning

Communication Snags--Part 1

Everywhere I turn lately, I am running smack, dab into the middle of communication snags!  It is sometimes so frustrating trying to be understood!

I find so many folks, (and probably me, myself, at times at the head of this list,) triggered and translating and filtering that which is being said though the personal wounds, fears and experiences of history.

I have done a lot of work around learning to not take things personally, even when others do sometimes personally direct their words toward me.

I also have found myself to be blind to myself at times!  We are all blind to ourselves sometimes!

When we are blind, we do not have the awareness that is needed to own things about ourselves. When we can't see ourselves, sometimes we do or say things that are not of the highest vibration.

Sometimes we are mute, shut-down and not present.  Sometimes we are walled-off or argumentative and highly defended.  We can become very controlling, manipulative or bullying.  We can turn it inward and become depressed and despondent.  All of these things are barriers to successful communication with others.

I work with clients regularly and I see over and over that many of us do not really know or see how we operate.  When we can learn to see ourselves, (which is a life-long process of ever deepening awareness,) when we become aware, it can help us to then make shifts in how we operate. The end result can be one of creating more of what we want in our lives--rather than in unawareness, recreating our greatest fears and painful experiences--all those negative, "See, I told you so's." 

It is a process.  It takes time.  No one ever gets done.  We just keep getting better.  Sometimes we fall back.  Sometimes we find new areas over which we previously had no awareness.  All are an opportunity for growth and more conscious choice in how we live our lives.

What are your blocks to communication?  How do you operate?  How can you work to operate with more awareness about you?
 
Love, Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara

Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

 Copyright 2013.  Transformation of a Mystic.  Barbara F. Manning

 

Grounded Bird

         Thank You, MiKa, for permission to use your  

     awesome artwork! http://mikaartblog.blogspot.ca/

It sure is not easy being grounded, recovering from foot surgery.  I have had one bizarre reaction after another since the surgery--some physical, some psychological and all of them Spiritual wake up calls!

I have had procedures before and never had this kind of experience.  This time there was not enough Propofol, a general anesthesia medication that is in short supply in the country due to the discovery of spinal meningitis bugs in some vials of it.  Because of this, another general anesthesia was used for me.  

As I awoke from the surgery, I was in a massive panic attack.  It was very uncomfortable!  Every time I lapsed back into sleep/unconsciousness for the next 24 hours, I awoke often and with a start, in the same panicked state!  

It was so hard being in my body, and not be able to create peace and calm!  I kept going into a meditative state, only to lapse into unconsciousness and then waking again very soon, back in the same miserable state--so far from peace that it was hard to cope!

Each time I awoke the panic was about not being able to take care of myself!   

I had a less invasive procedure on my foot with my intention being to create the healing needed so that I will never go to the next, much more involved level to repair my Achilles Tendon.  But as I was waking and panicking, I was unable to hold onto that.  I was not able to understand that I was not in that space of the full-blown, one to two year recovery time, with the biggest part of that non-weight bearing.  I am just in a place of a few weeks of restriction--though, still nothing to ignore or discount, either.

As the week progressed after surgery, it became apparent that I developed some kind of sensitivity to the solution the hospital used on my leg in preparation for the surgery.  My entire leg itched like crazy for days!

Then I decided to color my hair, using a brand I have used for a very long while, and I ended up with a burned scalp! 

It is like my whole body, mind and spirit are on hyper-alert!  So much about me is on edge and reacting in strange ways right now!

I wish I could say that I am through this and in peace about it all.  But in this week following the surgery, I have found myself again, lapsing back into concern about the future and my foot, and way more than just my foot. 

As I have said many times here, I don't believe in accidents.  I am certain that all that has happened with me is shining Light upon my Spiritual Achilles Heel--that being my huge need to be in control of me, of not being able to ask for help well and of not being able to allow in from others well.  This experience is nudging me into even deeper healing work than I have ever done previously about these personal issues of mine.

I am open to whatever God is showing me.  I ask for the courage to keep walking, (OK--hobbling, literally and metaphorically for now, ) into the Spiritual work here to teach me to open my heart bigger, to let go of control better and to allow others kindnesses and assistance more in my life.

I surrender to my needing of others assistance, of having much difficulty asking for help, and asking anyway, and to the intense vulnerability all of this brings to me.  I embrace the vulnerability!

I am grateful for the crutches that help support me.  I am grateful for the family and friends that step forward to help me, (even as I work through my ineptness with all of this.)  I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about this and to heal my significant quirks about all this stuff in me and my life!

 

Love, Hugs &  Blessings,

Barbara

Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of the Crutches Image!

Copyright 2013.  Transformation of a Mystic.  Barbara F. Manning