Everywhere I turn lately, I am running smack, dab into the middle of communication snags! It is sometimes so frustrating trying to be understood!I find so many folks, (and probably me, myself, at times at the head of this list,) triggered and translating and filtering that which is being said though the personal wounds, fears and experiences of history.
I have done a lot of work around learning to not take things personally, even when others do sometimes personally direct their words toward me.
I also have found myself to be blind to myself at times! We are all blind to ourselves sometimes!
When we are blind, we do not have the awareness that is needed to own things about ourselves. When we can't see ourselves, sometimes we do or say things that are not of the highest vibration.
Sometimes we are mute, shut-down and not present. Sometimes we are walled-off or argumentative and highly defended. We can become very controlling, manipulative or bullying. We can turn it inward and become depressed and despondent. All of these things are barriers to successful communication with others.
I work with clients regularly and I see over and over that many of us do not really know or see how we operate. When we can learn to see ourselves, (which is a life-long process of ever deepening awareness,) when we become aware, it can help us to then make shifts in how we operate. The end result can be one of creating more of what we want in our lives--rather than in unawareness, recreating our greatest fears and painful experiences--all those negative, "See, I told you so's."
It is a process. It takes time. No one ever gets done. We just keep getting better. Sometimes we fall back. Sometimes we find new areas over which we previously had no awareness. All are an opportunity for growth and more conscious choice in how we live our lives.
Love, Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara
Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!
Copyright 2013. Transformation of a Mystic. Barbara F. Manning
Barb, I am testing this post again. I hope it works this time.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible that I missed it previously. I have to "moderate" comments--meaning that they come to me for me to make the decision about whether to post them or not. Blogger has LOTS of bugs in it, but, what the heck, IT IS FREE, and I think it works marvelously well for FREE OF CHARGE! :-)
ReplyDeleteLove & Hugs!!
Barbara, my blocks to communication are often my fears and my own stubbornness which can prevent me from really listening to what the other person is trying to say. I have been recognizing my own fears when I try to grab on to someone, usually my husband, by becoming controlling. I recognize the controlling and then have to look at what am I afraid of. As you said, it is an ongoing journey. Sometimes I can figure out what I am afraid of but sometimes I have no words to tell me where the fear is coming from. Just as I was typing the last sentence, I got a voice telling me that some of my inner children don't have voices to tell me what they are afraid of because they never learned how to talk. They were too young to speak.
ReplyDeleteWow! This is why I like writing. I can sometimes tune in to that inner tuition or inner voice when I just let the words flow.
Thank you for discussing the topic of communication. You just helped me to understand myself and my processing better. Have a glorious day with your self.
Hi Patricia,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are getting triggered and becoming aware in positive ways from this blog topic. It is good to get positive feedback!
It sounds like you are doing GREAT becoming aware of yourself and how you operate/communicate! That will only help you in creating and growing healthier and holier and more healed relationships...and THAT IS AWESOME!
You Go Girl!!
Barbara
I don't have any intuitive wisdom for you Barbara. I am upset with your doctor. Over the years, when I find they stop listening, I fire them and get someone new who will listen. It could be that the lessen is for the idiot who refuses to listen to his patient.
ReplyDeleteHi, Anita!
DeleteI have fired a boat-load of doctors who will not listen. I will continue to do so whenever it feels like they are hopelessly imbedded in belief systems that do not support me.
Some MD's are trainable. Some have been so very talented in other areas that I also value and need, that I have been willing to "put up with their short-comings" where dealing with patients with chronic pain is concerned.
I always feel especially sad when I have found an excellent doctor, like James Boesiger, PhD
https://www.facebook.com/lasvegasPA?fref=ts
--who practices as a Physician's Assistant-- and who knows more and deals with my issues with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain from two spinal fusion surgeries better than any MD or other has EVER been able!
Dr. Boesiger gets very frustrated in his job because MD's, pushed by insurance companies, very often force him into doing the least amount possible because it costs them less and money is the bottom line issue. This has caused Dr. Boesiger a great deal of pain...and he tends to not stay attached to one practice very long.
I miss him SO VERY MUCH when he is moving on to the next place--where I sometimes can no longer work with him for my issues.
This "do the least possible with difficult to treat, vague illness patients are concerned, also fuels the "Kill The Messenger" (the patient) mentality, because doctors are sometimes confronted with illnesses that take too much time and effort for them to participate in the healing work that is truly needed. Sometimes they just decide that the patient is nuts and not in pain at all!
It can be so very frustrating, down-right heartless to be the patient under these circumstances!!
But I can also see that it is very frustrating and just as difficult for a doctor that really does give a damn, too!
Nothing happens by accident. I am sure of it. There is/are some piece(s) of my personal healing work in all of these experiences.
For me, the empowerment in standing up to doctors and letting them know how I feel about their lack of support has been very growing and helpful for me.
Being my own advocate and taking responsibility for saying what I need to say to doctors and asking for what I need is down-right WONDERFUL--even if some doctors have gotten very ticked, dismissed me and sent me on my way.
There have been a few doctors, (a very few, but still some,) that think it over and then try a little harder the next time we interact over my care again!
Very often though, it feels very isolating and difficult, because I have, [any of us that experience this kind of lack of healthcare support must] find ways to, mostly "go it alone." This is my personal experience of the way that the system works around Fibromyalgia and chronic pain syndromes, anyway.
This information in this response feels so important that I am going to post it in separate blog entry!
Thanks!
Love & Hugs & Gratitude to you for your support and your input,
Barbara