The Perception of Others

There is a tendency to be concerned about the perception of others in terms of our chronic pain, (and probably a lot more than chronic pain.)

We are programmed from the time we are born into behaving in ways that yield us certain perceptions from others.  We spend time, mostly unconsciously, trying to stay within the boundaries of what we believe will yield us "Acceptance" by others.

Becoming conscious and true to ourselves about how we really feel is a chunk of our "growing up" work.

Being very empathic, I usually immediately pick up others perceptions of me--even when they, themselves, are not fully aware of it.  I usually get a big electric zap feeling in the pit of my gut when someone's perception of me is the kind that my basic life-programming says could get me drummed out of The Tribe.

What should we do when our experiences of living with chronic pain triggers others fears for themselves?  

Usually, when another is sneering in judgment, there is an underlying fear in them that is the real culprit of their reactions to my experience and it doesn't actually have a personal thing to do with me.

Sometimes others are unable to understand the level of misery that people with chronic pain experience.  This is common--until others experience their own and then they usually make huge transformations in compassion and tolerance.

I have experienced other's dismay, disbelief, anger and judgment about my own chronic pain.  Sometimes this has come from doctors, co-workers, family members and friends.

The one I really have to watch out for about this is my own judgment about myself because of my own chronic pain.  All the others I can deal with effectively.  But, being in my own court, loving and supporting and accepting myself is critical to my own well-being.

So how do we know when we are deserving of support and when we are just floundering in a pile of crap and need to do something to get ourselves out of it?

We are always deserving of support.  No matter what!

In our hearts, we know when we are stuck and need to get help on some level.  

Let it be Okay.  Get what you need.  Ask for what you need.

Do your best to let judgments go--both of yourself and of others perceptions about you.

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

      Thank you to ME for my cool photos of flowers from my garden!

Childhood Trauma and Adult Chronic Pain - Part 3

It wasn't until I went to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor, plagued with breathing difficulties, that memories started floating back--more like crashed back into my full consciousness--with a vengeance. 

What we now know to most often be "Trauma Related" disorders are many--Fibromyalgia, Diabetes II, Chronic Fatigue, Low Back Pain, Chronic Migraine Headaches, Arthritis, Irritable Bowel Disorder and Depression, are just a few of them that fall into this category.  

Trauma can be caused by things you are well aware of--like being in a war or a horrific accident.  Trauma can also be much more subtle and even more difficult to identify.  

It can happen years before we develop chronic pain symptoms, before we mysteriously start having funny aches and pains here and there that go away and return again later on, with ever increasing pain intensity and time lines.

Some of us were raised by very strict parents.  That was nothing unusual in my era, being raised in the 1960's and 1970's.  But sometimes our spirits, our psyches, took things harder than we realized.  Or we may have blunted and dimmed the depths of the experiences in our memory.  These memories may even be totally out of our conscious awareness.

I would bet that most of us that experienced abusive or very strict parenting have at least some diminished memories out of our full conscious awareness.  It is just how it is.  It's what many survivors do to get on with being in the land of the living.

I discovered that I discounted all of the split lips and the bloody noses, all the name calling and the brutalizing energy I experienced growing up.  I knew they happened, but they were just below the surface of my everyday conscious awareness.

But, even if it is expected and common occurrence to have been raised this way in childhood, that does not mean it didn't effect us--and possibly even more than we know. 

Most folks that experienced the kinds of things I did as a child find ways to get through such experiences.  I know I did.  As I've said previously, I learned to make lemonade out of the lemons.  It's my long suit and always has been.  But until I was jolted into reality by an Ear Nose and Throat specialist, I had completely discounted the effects and even buried it all to some degree, from my full-on awareness, the full brunt of the experiences.  This stuff went on for all of my childhood, up until I left home as an adult.

Neuroscience now says that these kinds of experiences rewire our brains, making us have more possibilities for developing chronic pain and chronic conditions later in life. 

Here is a link to read up on this information:

http://www.multiplyingconnections.org/science-behind-trauma 

Until my experience with a doctor questioning my scar tissue filled nose and sinuses, I doubt I would have ever begun the journey of putting the pieces together, doing the research that has now opened everything to me.  I am certain there is a direct correlation to my experiences with chronic pain problems in adulthood and my childhood experiences with trauma.

When we are someone that looks for the good and the positive, it is easy to skim past obvious things that may actually be considered bordering on, if not flat-out, abusive parenting.

I can hear myself hollering at myself, "Pull up your socks, quit whining, get over yourself, you big ninny."  

Those are my words, now.  But, they came from another in my life. They didn't even actually use these specific words.  These are my interpretations of their words.  They are my words.  But this was the energy of what I heard repeatedly while growing up.

This is how a child learns to be unbendingly hard on themselves.

Herein breeds the way to trauma going underground and setting oneself up for Chronic Pain problems in adulthood.

It all goes hand in hand.  I observe it regularly in nearly every client I see.  Trauma and Chronic Pain are two ends of the same journey--if the Trauma is not addressed and healed.

Thankfully, there are more and more options for healing Chronic Pain than ever before, and the list is growing longer!

It takes great willingness to do this work, to heal these parts of ourselves.  It is the hardest work I have ever done.  And it is the very most rewarding, too.  

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

Thank you to ME for the cool photos of a Pronghorn Antelope in the Great Basin Desert
 and flowers from my garden, too!

Childhood Trauma and Adult Chronic Pain - Part 2

There are many ways to address trauma.  I have found that addressing trauma, past and present, is vital to pain relief and healing.  I work on this, daily.

I have yet to experience complete healing from all pain.  But I have experienced huge reductions in pain.  I have also noticed increases in pain when under stress.  And then there are those times where I cannot put my finger on a single thing that accounts for stress while I am experiencing significant pain.

I am beginning to believe that it is those times that there is some unconscious trigger going on that I must dig at more in order to be 
able to clear it.  And of course, then there are pain causing issues I have going on like arthritis and sciatica from a congenital birth defect.

I am currently using several methods of addressing pain triggered from past and present traumas.  One of them is called "tapping." Specifically, I am using the method of tapping called, "Faster EFT" http://fastereft.com/ to address these things. 

Tapping does seem to reduce stress and pain sensations!  Using this technique does seem to help me become aware of things that have not been in my conscious awareness.

There are practitioners that assist people who need more help than they are able to find by self-tapping. 

But self-tapping is very powerful, all by itself, and it's free.  Learn about how to do it here:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnTwiQY2hcM

I wonder if I have buried other things that I have not, as of yet, uncovered consciously?

Who knows?  But I gladly walk into the darkness to find it, if it will help with healing pain!  

I've had enough pain for a lifetime already.

Seriously.

They say:

I had lots of happiness in my childhood, for sure. But then there are those things I buried out of my consciousness that definitely are still affecting me today.  It is a process, a journey, to eek them out into my conscious memory so that I can release them and Move On.  I am grateful for those releases and I look forward to more of them!

Love, Hugs and Blessings,

Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!
Thank you to ME for my cool photos of the butterflies at the 
Springs Preserve Butterfly Habitat, too!

Childhood Trauma Can Cause Chronic Pain in Adulthood

Warning!  Some parts of this post may be unpleasant to see and read.  But they are vital to consider if you experience Chronic Pain.

The ENT doctor was trying to thread a camera up my nostrils and into my sinus cavity.  He was having difficulty.  In an exasperated tone he said to me, "Good Grief!  Were you in some kind of accident or something?"  

I was sincerely perplexed by his question and I told him, "No, I wasn't."  

He then proceeded to tell me that I had a severely deviated septum and massive scar tissue in my nose and sinuses; and that it was no wonder why I could not breathe through my nose. 

I was dumbfounded.  I could not imagine from where all this damage could possibly have come.

That night after leaving the doctor, I kept waking up from repeated nightmares.
  

The nightmares were of split lips... 

and bloody noses...

  

When I finally dragged myself exhausted out of bed the next morning, I was filled with grief, the likes of which I had never consciously known.

Oh My God!  I was an abused kid--abused enough that I sustained significant physical damage and now it would require surgery to repair it.

How could I reach 51 years of age and have no conscious understanding that I sustained child abuse and more, that it was severe enough to require surgery to correct?  

How does that happen without me consciously knowing it? 

After much soul searching and allowance of these feelings and memories to surface into my conscious awareness, I realized that I simply discounted all the split lips and the bloody noses I experienced growing up.  

It wasn't like I didn't know they happened.  I did.  But they were muffled, somehow muted in my awareness.  I somehow believed they were a normal part of growing up and even expected--No Big Deal.  Lots of kids experienced the same things that I experienced--or so I believed, anyway.  

But even if it is expected and a common occurrence in childhood, that does not mean it didn't affect me.  

Affect me, it most certainly did!

Scientists now know that these kinds of experiences have the potential to somehow rewire brains into "Pain Brains," where the road to pain becomes well honed and becomes easily fired up when under stress--common, everyday, garden variety stress--and heavy duty stress, too. 

The pain is real.  It's not in our head.  But often what triggers the pain is, at least in part, in our brain.  Science knows this for certain. And there is plenty for which they haven't a clue about this, as well. 

Science now also says that these kinds of trauma experiences and even less severe traumas, can set us up for greater possibilities for developing chronic pain later in life--directly as a result of experiencing any type of trauma in childhood--from emotional abuse to sexual abuse to physical abuse.  This also includes losing a parent in childhood to death or divorce, being in a car accident, experiencing violent crimes--literally any kind of trauma experienced in childhood can be a precursor to chronic pain in adulthood.

Do yourself a favor if you experience chronic pain.  Go looking into your history to see if you can uncover any traumas.  If you are reluctant to do so, get some support in helping you to do it.  Don't discount anything.  And don't judge yourself if you believe things you find are not traumatic enough.  Any trauma is enough to trigger chronic pain in adulthood.  And, the more you had traumas, the more likely it is that you will experience chronic pain in your life.  

There are many ways to address and heal trauma.  It is vital to your pain relief.

There is always Hope!  Never forget this!

Love and Hugs,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

Life through Chronic Pain Is A Marathon

I can get so hard on myself when I am in a flare up of pain.  I sometimes find myself in judgment of me about every piece of the experience.  Repeat patterns show me that this only increases suffering and makes the flare up last longer.

It sometimes feels exhausting, trying to stay positive, continuing to stand up and have a life in the midst of chronic pain.  It is easy to get discouraged, even angry, and want to throw in the towel on life.

But the path through it all is through the experience, not around it or trying to avoid it.  I accept how I am feeling, while at the same time, not allow myself to get lost in the feelings.  This is a balancing process.
  
Making better choices for myself in many areas--my thoughts, learning to draw good boundaries about where I expend my energy and what I allow in my life, are all ways that I do the marathon with as much ease and grace as possible.  But it's not a perfect journey.  Always, it is about acceptance of everything--even the parts where I find myself so hard on me.

The minute I recognize that I am in judgment of myself, being hard on myself, I stop in that moment, take a slow, big, deep breath in, and I find a place of deep compassion and self-love that is always ever growing inside of me.  Just taking that deep breath in and embracing the love and the peace of that moment, makes the next leg of the marathon possible for me.

Trust it all--and most especially, Trust Yourself.  This is the hardest part of all, because those of us that deal with chronic pain often feel like our bodies have betrayed us.  Your body has not betrayed you, but that is another blog entry.

There is always a purpose and a reason for each piece of our journey.  I swear it!   And I believe it is worth it!

Love and Hugs,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

Relationship Stress Triggers Fibromyalgia

Look in your close relationships for clues to your Fibromyalgia Triggers.
 
The most common denominator in Fibromyalgia triggers for me is stress from my closest relationships.  It is not all of the cause of symptoms, but it is probably the biggest culprit.

I have seen it repeatedly in myself and with clients as well.

Relationship stress can be very subtle.  You may not even be consciously aware that you are being triggered.  But your body knows.  Your Spirit knows.

Watch for the physical and emotional patterns in yourself.  Look into your most recent interactions with others and identify how you were feeling physically and emotionally, how you were affected by the experience of relating with them.  Watch for a tightened jaw, gritting of teeth, a headache, a sudden dip into depression or despair, feeling superior, feeling inferior, shallow breathing, tightened shoulders, aches and pains cranking up in intensity.

These are all clues to something deeper going on in your relationships--much deeper, in most cases.

Allowing ourselves to be in the presence of others who are chaotic, manipulative, depressive, bullying, passive-aggressive or openly volatile, increases symptoms--any kind of symptoms, not just Fibromyalgia, but particularly Fibro symptoms.

I do my best to be conscious of how I am reacting and feeling, and then I limit my exposure to the situations and the people that I discover are triggers for me in my life.  This is just common sense.

Being conscious is required!  But that is not always so easily done!

In general, most people are very unaware of how they operate and why they do so.  Sometimes this requires a healer or a counselor--someone who can help us to become more conscious of ourselves.

It takes great courage and persistence to keep showing up and doing this kind of personal growth/spiritual healing work.  It is always easier to feel like the other person is the problem.  But that is rarely the case.

We are the problem. How we react is the problem. 

Limiting negative exposure and creating healthy boundaries opens up other areas of healing work that must be addressed that are just as vital to creating a joyous life, in my opinion--like, what do you now do with the holes in your life that used to be filled with other people's stuff???

You stand in the quiet and peace and listen to God's input--sometimes for the very first time in your life, because now God can actually get through to you!

And you keep growing and learning and getting better at living life joyously and as pain-free as possible!

Love and Hugs,

Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

Recoiling From Pain Intensifies It

Recoiling from pain is futile.  For me, trying to do so actually makes it worse.  It significantly intensifies it.

This goes for any kind of pain--physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.  But in this instance, I am referring to physical pain--the kind that brings deep suffering on every level of existence.

Part of the problem is that I unconsciously resist pain.  This is an automatic and very unconscious response from me.  I don't like feeling pain.  Resisting it always comes first for me.  

In the resistance, I begin tensing up my muscles and my joints in some kind of unconscious effort to brace myself to surmount and bear the pain.

It is not easy to stay conscious and aware that I am in pain avoidance mode. Usually I discover it when I am feeling even more pain and I do a "body check," and I realize that my entire body is now into the resistance of the experience.

It is completely natural to want to avoid things that feel so uncomfortable.

A total mind-blower to me is my discovery that by mentally directing my attention into the center of the pain, facing it, focusing on it, allowing it and accepting it, alters it in a positive way for me.  

This seems very illogical to me.  But I am here to tell you that sometimes it is the only thing that brings relief.

Perhaps the relief comes from not adding the extra tensing and anxiety to the already difficult experience to bear.

I am not sure.  But I know that for me, relief is in the heart of the pain.  That doesn't necessarily mean that acceptance and allowing makes it go completely away.  But it surely does bring some peace and liberation from the depths of the suffering.

Try it!  What have you got to lose?  Maybe some pain!!

Love and Hugs,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

 

Comet Watching Can Trigger Fibromyalgia???

No Comet Lovejoy Watching is possible where I live, tonight.  It's just way too cloudy out there!

It is a good thing, too!!  I am all Fibro stove-up from peering into the Heaven's with a heavy set of binoculars last night, doing exactly this comet watching!  

Who the heck ever heard of stargazing triggering Fibromyalgia???

You have GOT to be KIDDING!!! 

I'm here to tell you...sadly...that this is true, at least for me right now, anyway!  Crooked neck, heavy tools, holding arms above my head for a long while--all of it added up together triggered a massive YEEEE...OUCH for me after Comet Watching!

I am unbelievably stiff and sore today, even still, more than 24 hours later!

Another goofy piece for me is that I didn't recognize the cause of all the pain for a long while today.  It wasn't until I raised my arms over my head to put a Christmas box up on a shelf, that the massive pain zap helped me to remember where this unbelievably deep pain began!

Stargazing would not normally bother me in the slightest!  

It is impossible for me to know when Fibro will be triggered!

So what?! 

I dearly LOVE stargazing!  I am NOT giving it up!  I will modify it somehow--when required!  But I will never be able to 100 percent predict when it may lay me low.  Fibro is unpredictable for me.  My reactions can be unpredictable.

There is always a way to make accommodations and adjustments, though--even if only by being very compassionate and loving with myself when I have done something that is causing me to feel like a huge pile of crap!

I am not going to stop doing things I love doing on the chance that I may get Fibro-triggered.

That's no way to live.

Life and living is way too precious to live in fear of what might happen!  I will continue to live in the moment, make concessions where I feel it wise and deal with whatever happens along the way!

Comet Lovejoy, you were worth it! 
 
Love and Hugs,
Barbara

 

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

Photo credit: Comet Lovejoy on December 13 from the 

Astronomical Society of Victoria's Astrophotography Observatory, Heathcote, Victoria.