The Perception of Others

There is a tendency to be concerned about the perception of others in terms of our chronic pain, (and probably a lot more than chronic pain.)

We are programmed from the time we are born into behaving in ways that yield us certain perceptions from others.  We spend time, mostly unconsciously, trying to stay within the boundaries of what we believe will yield us "Acceptance" by others.

Becoming conscious and true to ourselves about how we really feel is a chunk of our "growing up" work.

Being very empathic, I usually immediately pick up others perceptions of me--even when they, themselves, are not fully aware of it.  I usually get a big electric zap feeling in the pit of my gut when someone's perception of me is the kind that my basic life-programming says could get me drummed out of The Tribe.

What should we do when our experiences of living with chronic pain triggers others fears for themselves?  

Usually, when another is sneering in judgment, there is an underlying fear in them that is the real culprit of their reactions to my experience and it doesn't actually have a personal thing to do with me.

Sometimes others are unable to understand the level of misery that people with chronic pain experience.  This is common--until others experience their own and then they usually make huge transformations in compassion and tolerance.

I have experienced other's dismay, disbelief, anger and judgment about my own chronic pain.  Sometimes this has come from doctors, co-workers, family members and friends.

The one I really have to watch out for about this is my own judgment about myself because of my own chronic pain.  All the others I can deal with effectively.  But, being in my own court, loving and supporting and accepting myself is critical to my own well-being.

So how do we know when we are deserving of support and when we are just floundering in a pile of crap and need to do something to get ourselves out of it?

We are always deserving of support.  No matter what!

In our hearts, we know when we are stuck and need to get help on some level.  

Let it be Okay.  Get what you need.  Ask for what you need.

Do your best to let judgments go--both of yourself and of others perceptions about you.

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

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