Recoiling From Pain Intensifies It

Recoiling from pain is futile.  For me, trying to do so actually makes it worse.  It significantly intensifies it.

This goes for any kind of pain--physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.  But in this instance, I am referring to physical pain--the kind that brings deep suffering on every level of existence.

Part of the problem is that I unconsciously resist pain.  This is an automatic and very unconscious response from me.  I don't like feeling pain.  Resisting it always comes first for me.  

In the resistance, I begin tensing up my muscles and my joints in some kind of unconscious effort to brace myself to surmount and bear the pain.

It is not easy to stay conscious and aware that I am in pain avoidance mode. Usually I discover it when I am feeling even more pain and I do a "body check," and I realize that my entire body is now into the resistance of the experience.

It is completely natural to want to avoid things that feel so uncomfortable.

A total mind-blower to me is my discovery that by mentally directing my attention into the center of the pain, facing it, focusing on it, allowing it and accepting it, alters it in a positive way for me.  

This seems very illogical to me.  But I am here to tell you that sometimes it is the only thing that brings relief.

Perhaps the relief comes from not adding the extra tensing and anxiety to the already difficult experience to bear.

I am not sure.  But I know that for me, relief is in the heart of the pain.  That doesn't necessarily mean that acceptance and allowing makes it go completely away.  But it surely does bring some peace and liberation from the depths of the suffering.

Try it!  What have you got to lose?  Maybe some pain!!

Love and Hugs,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

 Thank you Google Images, for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

 

Exhausted and Trusting

I am whooped beyond my understanding.  It does not make any sense that I could get so very depleted and from such little exertion.

But it is what is, for now. 

I used to have such high energy.  But I have over-expended it many, many times, too.  I miss all the energy I had in my past!  Boy, do I miss that a bunch!

The pattern for me lately is that I get myself back into an energy flow and then...WHAM, it all drains out of me like someone pulled the plug on my energy tank.

I've got things I want to do.  I've got places I want to go.  I want to have the energy to do these things.  

It is hard to be patient with myself!

But I do not have energy--not this minute, anyway.

It is alright.

There is a Phoenix in me, readying to be reborn.  I've seen this pattern in me before.  It is not easy to trust this process.  But it is always the truth that I do rise up out of the ashes.

I will again.

For now, I will Trust...

Love, Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2013, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of your Images!

Grounded Bird

         Thank You, MiKa, for permission to use your  

     awesome artwork! http://mikaartblog.blogspot.ca/

It sure is not easy being grounded, recovering from foot surgery.  I have had one bizarre reaction after another since the surgery--some physical, some psychological and all of them Spiritual wake up calls!

I have had procedures before and never had this kind of experience.  This time there was not enough Propofol, a general anesthesia medication that is in short supply in the country due to the discovery of spinal meningitis bugs in some vials of it.  Because of this, another general anesthesia was used for me.  

As I awoke from the surgery, I was in a massive panic attack.  It was very uncomfortable!  Every time I lapsed back into sleep/unconsciousness for the next 24 hours, I awoke often and with a start, in the same panicked state!  

It was so hard being in my body, and not be able to create peace and calm!  I kept going into a meditative state, only to lapse into unconsciousness and then waking again very soon, back in the same miserable state--so far from peace that it was hard to cope!

Each time I awoke the panic was about not being able to take care of myself!   

I had a less invasive procedure on my foot with my intention being to create the healing needed so that I will never go to the next, much more involved level to repair my Achilles Tendon.  But as I was waking and panicking, I was unable to hold onto that.  I was not able to understand that I was not in that space of the full-blown, one to two year recovery time, with the biggest part of that non-weight bearing.  I am just in a place of a few weeks of restriction--though, still nothing to ignore or discount, either.

As the week progressed after surgery, it became apparent that I developed some kind of sensitivity to the solution the hospital used on my leg in preparation for the surgery.  My entire leg itched like crazy for days!

Then I decided to color my hair, using a brand I have used for a very long while, and I ended up with a burned scalp! 

It is like my whole body, mind and spirit are on hyper-alert!  So much about me is on edge and reacting in strange ways right now!

I wish I could say that I am through this and in peace about it all.  But in this week following the surgery, I have found myself again, lapsing back into concern about the future and my foot, and way more than just my foot. 

As I have said many times here, I don't believe in accidents.  I am certain that all that has happened with me is shining Light upon my Spiritual Achilles Heel--that being my huge need to be in control of me, of not being able to ask for help well and of not being able to allow in from others well.  This experience is nudging me into even deeper healing work than I have ever done previously about these personal issues of mine.

I am open to whatever God is showing me.  I ask for the courage to keep walking, (OK--hobbling, literally and metaphorically for now, ) into the Spiritual work here to teach me to open my heart bigger, to let go of control better and to allow others kindnesses and assistance more in my life.

I surrender to my needing of others assistance, of having much difficulty asking for help, and asking anyway, and to the intense vulnerability all of this brings to me.  I embrace the vulnerability!

I am grateful for the crutches that help support me.  I am grateful for the family and friends that step forward to help me, (even as I work through my ineptness with all of this.)  I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about this and to heal my significant quirks about all this stuff in me and my life!

 

Love, Hugs &  Blessings,

Barbara

Thank you Google Images for the Commercial Reuse of the Crutches Image!

Copyright 2013.  Transformation of a Mystic.  Barbara F. Manning

 

Healing Beliefs

"If your core belief is 'I lack,' and you carry that belief with you, then you will unconsciously perpetuate or create the circumstances that reflect the belief.  But your circumstances are completely malleable:  They simply reflect the dictates of your mind."  ~Marianne Williamson, The Law Of Divine Compensation.

I have found this to be Truth about all of my beliefs about me and about my life, not just my financial beliefs.  

This applies to my dealing with anything I find difficult--body aches and pains, difficulties in relationships, beliefs about my worthiness in receiving love in my life--literally everything about us and our experiences in our lives are directly related to our beliefs.

"In our ability to think about something differently lies the power to make it different." ~also from Marianne Williamson's book I cited above.

I have first-hand evidence that this, too, is complete Truth!  In my working to change my thinking, eventually it changed my beliefs.  Changing my beliefs changed my life dramatically. 

I Love My Life!  My life is totally miraculous these days and I am very grateful!

I have shifted my beliefs in many areas of my life.  I am still working on it in others.  Before beginning this journey of changing my beliefs and creating the life that I want, I was totally overcome with very difficult things I had created in my life:  A body filled with horrific pain from a debilitating lumbar spine malady that ultimately drove me to two spinal fusion surgeries for resolution--unsuccessfully.  I literally could not get out of bed and walk without excruciating pain.  I was depressed and no longer even wanted to be on the planet.  I felt helpless and beaten.  In that energy and with those beliefs about my circumstances, I then created totally debilitating, all-over-body pain and exhaustion in me--Fibromyalgia.   

All of these experiences were directly related to my beliefs.  It all came from my thoughts and my fears.

Am I saying that these things were in my head?  Absolutely not.  But I am saying that my thinking created the energy, ultimately, the body chemistry, that allowed all the other things to occur in my body.  

We are creators.  We create everything in our lives.  No one else creates in our lives--Others are simply players we have hired to help us create.  

We are here to discover that we are the creators of our lives and that we have the power to create consciously and abundantly or unconsciously and blindly.

We are not victims.  We are creators!

If you do not like what you are creating, change it.
   
It takes time to shift thoughts and feelings.  It takes stick-to-it-tive-ness.  

Ultimately changing your thoughts changes your feelings and this, then, changes your beliefs.

Beliefs are at the core of everything that we create in our lives.  Nothing that happens to me do I see as a passive act on my part.  I can see my beliefs working in every place and circumstance of my life!

In order for me to start changing my beliefs, I had to start with tapping into my thinking, into the random thoughts and feelings that were going on in me from moment to moment, and changing them into what I really wanted--even if I didn't really believe it in the beginning.

I found it works best for me to recognize and become aware of my thoughts and feelings without judgment about them.  This was not easy at first, because I realized that many of my thoughts and feelings were negative.  

Losing the judgment about whatever I discover is going on within me is critical for me.  If I get stuck in self judgment I cannot move forward to create the positive and the miraculous in my life. 

Over time, the negative was replaced by the positive--and that has made All The Difference!

I am here to tell you that:  All Things Are Possible!

It is a process.  It is doable.  If you are unable to find your way on your own, find yourself an Empowerment Coach that will help you clear the path, reprogram your thinking and feelings and support you in finding your power to make your life exactly what you want it to be!

And so, I ask you:  "What are you thinking today?"  Does it support what you want to create?  If it does, Congratulations!  If it doesn't, CHANGE IT!" 

Love, Hugs, Blessings & Happy Healing, 
Barbara

 Thank you to the contributors of the images I used in this blog entry!

  Copyright 2012. Transformation of a Mystic. Barbara F. Manning