"The Body Keeps The Score"

I found a book, about which I am very intrigued. The book is:  "The Body Keeps The Score," by Bessel A. van der Kolk.  As a result, I attended a series of talks by trauma specialists, and I discovered a lot of a-ha's as I listened.

The planet is riddled with trauma victims.  It colors many things and challenges most of us in some way--even if indirectly, through our personal experiences with sufferers. Often it is hidden from consciousness in many.  

Healing trauma and becoming resilient over new onslaughts of it are the entire trek for many of us.

If trauma is key, all is not hopeless!  It can go a lot of ways, though, it seems.  It depends on if people get the help and support that they need--if they even recognize that they need help and support.

The "help" that actually helps keeps changing, as more is learned about what happens to us through traumatizing experiences--what gets modified in our brains during the wounding process, and what things assist modification in our brains during the healing process.

I am seeing some old stuff in new light.  This has brought me some feelings of grief.  From past experience, I know that for me to heal this grief, I must honor my Truths, experience and allow the grief, without creating more trauma or drama for myself. Gratefully, I am familiar with the process.  I know this dance.  And I welcome it.  

I find that grief moves at its own speed--sometimes for me, this is slowly!  But things do shift if I am patient and I allow my feelings without recoiling from them, and specifically, without creating more trauma for myself.  Not creating more trauma during healing work is also a learning process.  I have had to get support to learn how not to do this.  

Now I know the process.  It is repeatable.  It works. I am exceedingly grateful, even for the hard stuff. All experiences eventually bring me to a place of joy and gratitude for the gift of this journey of living!

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2016, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

      Thank you to ME for the cool photos I took of Ireland!  

Stress and Chronic Pain

I sometimes find when I do a body-check, that I am holding my body tightly in places here and there.  It used to happen continually, automatically and unconsciously.  It's part of my having learned, among other things, to be a nice, good-little-girl, rather than inappropriately pummel the living you-know-what out of others when they trigger me.

I unknowingly, unconsciously allowed this body holding / bracing energy into my body, into my joints and into my spirit. 

If I didn't check in with my body, I might never even know I do this.  

Sometimes I find myself holding my breath, and not realizing it for a while.  Sometimes I find myself gritting my teeth while walking around trying to do something.  I go through bouts of night-time teeth grinding that seems to cycle on some schedule I have yet to uncover or decode.

I believe all these things are unconscious means of coping with adversity, of bracing myself through stress.

Stress becomes a habit.  If I don't allow myself to become aware of my reactions to it, I can get into a bunch of seemingly illogical, incomprehensible body pain.

But if I look more closely and honestly, I see that one thing leads to the other--or at the least, it exacerbates it.  There is a correlation and it is often circular, feeding on itself.

For me, stress leads to or contributes to Chronic Pain and Chronic Pain leads to or contributes to stress.

When I can catch myself in these holding actions I can often change them!  

Becoming conscious of the holding actions I do in my body helps me to have the option to make different choices, like taking a deep breath and releasing the holding.

Checking in with my body on a regular basis is crucial.    

Discovering this has led to empowerment in modifying Chronic Pain.

When Chronic Pain is not alterable, though, the only remedy is surrendering to the pain.  In the surrendering there is great releasing and that brings peace and relief.

Gratefully, I am becoming increasingly conscious and more empowered about altering Chronic Pain.

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2016, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

      Thank you to ME for my cool photos I have taken!  

We Never Get All Our Shame Healed

I have been catching some of the "Neuroscience Training Summit - How to Change Your Brain for Better Relationships, Accelerated Learning, and Increased Happiness."

Here is a "free for a limited-time" link for this online summit, if you are interested:

http://www.soundstrue.com/store/neuroscience-summit/free-access

Today, Louis Cozolino, PhD, (a writer, professor and practicing psychologist in Los Angeles, California,) spoke about information from his book:  "Why Therapy Works - Using Our Minds to Change Our Brains, (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology.)

As I listened to Dr. Cozolino speak today, I was THRILLED to hear him say that, in all the years he has been doing his own personal psychotherapy and working with clients for their healing, as well, neither he, nor any of his clients have ever been able to completely eradicate Shame from themselves!

This is Good News to me--because I have been working on healing this stuff in me for 35 years, and I was beginning to fear that maybe I was just too maimed to be able to heal all my personal Shame!

Whew!  What a relief to discover that NO one is able to do this!  I would not have believed anyone that said they were completely Shame-healed, anyway!  My own personal experience just doesn't bear that out!

I think we carry Shame in our DNA--in our genetics!  I think we are hard-wired for Shame!  And then, there are so many places and experiences in our lives where we can gather up more Shame to shower upon ourselves!  I do not know how, exactly.  Perhaps it is through, among other things, that issue called "Original Sin," about which I was taught, (and felt scared about,) in Catechism as a child?

Cozolino says evolution sets us up for mental distress.  This comes out of our primitive instincts.  It also comes from our social connections and interactions.  And there's that issue of our survival being very important to us!  Yup--we are wired for Shame, in my opinion!

Hearing about Shame in this light feels much less about a personal issue or downfall than it is a human one, and therefore, some Shame just automatically feels removed from me!!

At any rate, as much healing as I attain, even being a good deal better at personal healing work than I was when I was 25 years old, I seem to be able to lapse back into Shame from time to time.

The best news of all is that I don't stay there as long as I once did; and I feel so much more compassion for myself when I discover I am in that Shame Pile, yet again, that it feels much less earth-shattering and it passes quickly!

This is progress!

What a relief!!  Otherwise I would not know whether to run stark raving mad into the sunset, certain of my complete, unrecoverable brokenness, or, pat myself nicely on the back for having attained healthy integration of all my previous, not-so-positive life experiences with all the good ones!

Thank you, Dr. Cozolino!  I most certainly enjoyed listening to what you had to share, today!

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara

© Copyright 2009-2016, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

      Thank you to ME for my cool photos of flowers from my garden!

Life Is Wild, Lately!

With the advent of the government's condemnation of our family's property in September 2015, and the subsequent lawsuit for which we have not yet come through to the other side, I have fallen far behind in blog posting.  I apologize for this!

Thank you for your understanding!

Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Barbara!

© Copyright 2009-2016, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning. 

All Rights Reserved

      Thank you to ME for my cool photos of flowers from my garden!