Warning! Some parts of this post may be unpleasant to see and read. But they are vital to consider if you experience Chronic Pain.
The ENT doctor was trying to thread a camera up my nostrils and into my sinus cavity. He was having difficulty. In an exasperated tone he said to me, "Good Grief! Were you in some kind of accident or something?"
I was sincerely perplexed by his question and I told him, "No, I wasn't."
He then proceeded to tell me that I had a severely deviated septum and massive scar tissue in my nose and sinuses; and that it was no wonder why I could not breathe through my nose.
I was dumbfounded. I could not imagine from where all this damage could possibly have come.
That night after leaving the doctor, I kept waking up from repeated nightmares.
The nightmares were of split lips...
and bloody noses...
Oh My God! I was an abused kid--abused enough that I sustained significant physical damage and now it would require surgery to repair it.
How could I reach 51 years of age and have no conscious understanding that I sustained child abuse and more, that it was severe enough to require surgery to correct?
How does that happen without me consciously knowing it?
After much soul searching and allowance of these feelings and memories to surface into my conscious awareness, I realized that I simply discounted all the split lips and the bloody noses I experienced growing up.
It wasn't like I didn't know they happened. I did. But they were muffled, somehow muted in my awareness. I somehow believed they were a normal part of growing up and even expected--No Big Deal. Lots of kids experienced the same things that I experienced--or so I believed, anyway.
But even if it is expected and a common occurrence in childhood, that does not mean it didn't affect me.
Affect me, it most certainly did!
Scientists now know that these kinds of experiences have the potential to somehow rewire brains into "Pain Brains," where the road to pain becomes well honed and becomes easily fired up when under stress--common, everyday, garden variety stress--and heavy duty stress, too.
The pain is real. It's not in our head. But often what triggers the pain is, at least in part, in our brain. Science knows this for certain. And there is plenty for which they haven't a clue about this, as well.
Science now also says that these kinds of trauma experiences and even less severe traumas, can set us up for greater possibilities for developing chronic pain later in life--directly as a result of experiencing any type of trauma in childhood--from emotional abuse to sexual abuse to physical abuse. This also includes losing a parent in childhood to death or divorce, being in a car accident, experiencing violent crimes--literally any kind of trauma experienced in childhood can be a precursor to chronic pain in adulthood.
Do yourself a favor if you experience chronic pain. Go looking into your history to see if you can uncover any traumas. If you are reluctant to do so, get some support in helping you to do it. Don't discount anything. And don't judge yourself if you believe things you find are not traumatic enough. Any trauma is enough to trigger chronic pain in adulthood. And, the more you had traumas, the more likely it is that you will experience chronic pain in your life.
There are many ways to address and heal trauma. It is vital to your pain relief.
There is always Hope! Never forget this!
Love and Hugs,
Barbara
© Copyright 2009-2015, Transformation Of A Mystic | Barbara F. Manning.
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