I am an avid meditator. Meditation has helped me learn to transcend pain--every type of pain. This is a magnificent tool! And I am very good at it. Thank God!
It turns out, much to my surprise, that it is not necessarily the best thing in the world to be a great meditator in some instances--if you have something physical going on that needs medical attention!
It is sometimes hard to trust our own inner guidance--especially when external guidance, doctors, health care professionals, sometimes even our own family or friends, can try to convince us that we are just over reacting or may even be a hypochondriac!
Just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean that it's not there.
Gratefully, I have never had anyone ever openly suggest that I could be a hypochondriac, rather than truly in pain, (even if they may have thought it!) But I can tell you that at times, (more often than I care to remember,) I have most certainly been met with disbelief and judgment from others, even when they have not said it! I am an intuitive. I can feel it!
It can feel so heartless, down-right cruel, to be met with this kind of energy from others when one is in pain!
For many of us that have experienced this, it has lead us on a journey of Trust.
Trust of Self or Trust of Others--that is the question!
I have had to find my own way through the challenges of chronic pain, mostly without the aid of anyone in the medical community, or anywhere else, for that matter. This was (and sometimes can still be) overwhelming and difficult to manage on my own, hence the need for me to become a great meditator!
If we are barking up a tree that is getting us no where, we have to find other ways of managing our issues, our symptoms. This can be a very good and an empowering thing.
As I was struggling with my tooth problem of late, the dentist kept telling me that I just needed bite adjustments to the temporary crown he had installed and medication to alleviate the pain in my tooth until the permanent crown could be completed.
I knew there was something wrong, but I did not trust my own perceptions about this. I did not want to be met (again) with disbelief and/or judgment from a doctor, so I put up and I shut up.
Finally the tooth abscessed in a way that was very outwardly visible and undeniable.
I cannot meditate (or medicate) an abscessing tooth away, though I must admit, my meditation skills allowed me to get very far along into an abscessing tooth before I finally had to holler--no, SCREAM, Uncle. But I didn't do it until there was proof-positive, not just my own subjective opinion, (which doctors often could care less about hearing, let alone believing!)
Now I can work toward the real solution to this issue--which is not about becoming an even more proficient meditator to mitigate the nearly unbearable pain. This time it is about picking the best oral surgeon and having the dang tooth extracted!
Now my dentist believes me that I was not just a whine-baby, refusing to buck-up and wait the pain out.
It actually feels good to be vindicated--but it does not feel so good looking at what I have dragged myself through just to try to avoid being judged by a doctor! I should have hollered MUCH sooner!
All this happened for a reason. I will hang on for what the Universe is trying to teach me now. I have more learning to do! I know we never get done.
However, I am NOT giving up meditation. It has single-handedly been the most empowering and helpful thing I have ever been able to do to help myself through anything. I am very grateful for it!
Love, Hugs & Blessings,
Barbara
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