Sometimes Ending A Relationship Is The Best Thing.

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Sometimes a relationship needs to end. Sometimes the most loving and compassionate thing we can do for ourselves and for the other is to be courageous enough to draw a boundary and force an ending, thereby opening the place for the misery to end.

There is great unhappiness and ever-growing pain in the journey to the ending of a relationship. There has been steadily increasing hopelessness and a very slow dawning of my awareness that there is nothing more that I can do, no power that I have, no more words that I can say, no more adjustments that I am willing to make that can fix the relationship. It is simply no longer a healthy place in which for me to be.

I do not take ending a relationship lightly. I put a lot of myself into a relationship and I give all my heart in them. I think it is entirely possible that I give way too much and way too long in a relationship. But I did catch this faster than ever before. Still, it took me a very long time to reach The End.

Alas, sometimes things just do not work out. Maybe they were never meant to work out as I envisioned them. Maybe my definition of “working out” needs adjustment.

There were many wonderful things that I did receive in this relationship over the years. I have grown tremendously and I received great healing about many things as a direct result of this relationship. I can honestly say that I would not be the person that I am today without having experienced this relationship.

For these things I will always be very grateful!

I have been blocked about writing this blog entry for a while. I want to write positive, empowering and beneficial entries. But every time I sat down to write, my brain and my heart have been in an endless loop of pain, loss and grief. My heart is truly broken. I could not even get the words out.

And then slowly I began to be reminded that life is not just about the wonderful, the miraculous and the positive. Life on this planet is sometimes damn tough!

It is what I do with the heartbreaking, the negative and the difficult that can be empowering or it can be diminishing. How I choose to work my way through this makes all the difference. It is the journey through every experience that gives me the opportunity to grow, to find out about the stuff of which I am made.

And I am made of very good stuff!

I am a survivor. I am more than a survivor! I’ve been through some really rough things in life and I can truthfully say that I am deeply grateful for every single one of them! Each has brought me great gifts, even through pain!

I am an optimist, a romantic and an idealist at heart. I always look for the lessons, the nuggets of truth and the good in everything that happens. They are always there! I persistently dig for deeper consciousness about myself, about others and about life, and I do my best to grow through or in spite of everything that occurs in my life.

I am a better person today than I was yesterday. I am more aware today than I was yesterday. I hurt less today than I did yesterday!

Tomorrow will be even better!

Barbara
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Empowerment 2010!

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New Year’s Resolutions are barbaric! There is something about them that seems pretty desperate, even fear-based. There are feelings in me of resistance and defiance about even attempting to make them. Perhaps this is due to my repeatedly failing to follow through with them? They usually leave me feeling inadequate and somehow seriously flawed! And so I have not made them for many years…that is, until this year! This year I feel empowered beyond imagination!

I’ve been hanging out with the most positive of people! I’ve been surrounding myself with the most empowered of folks! With great gratitude, I have found these things to be contagious! I’ve caught them! I feel empowered to create for me my fondest and most cherished dreams! I have already seen so many miraculous things manifest in my life simply by stepping into my power!

Someone recommended to me that I write down my Resolutions, (which I decided to call “Intentions” rather than Resolutions), then fold them up, place them in a glass jar, fill the jar with water, screw on the lid and place it in the freezer! This person told me that this will keep my intentions from dissipating into the Universe, giving them more power to manifest. This seems like a silly and bizarre little obsessive-compulsive ritual, but I decided to indulge myself in it just the same!

Preparing for this allowed me to focus and make clear for myself exactly what I want. For months now, Spirit has been bringing to me so many wonderful things—things I never consciously asked for. What could happen if I allow myself to become conscious about what I really want?

I kept a running list of my intentions for several days, allowing my Spirit to bring to my consciousness whatever I would like more of in my life. I decided to allow only the most positive and empowering of beliefs to make my list! I used only the most positive and empowering words. This felt very important to me! I wrote each item in the form of an affirmation, as though each one already exists, exactly as I wrote it. Affirmations are encouraging! They are expanding, growing, positive and empowering!

I am the only one that limits me. I see that the Universe gives me exactly what I believe that it will. I have seen it over and over throughout my life. I get what I expect. It is as simple as this!

The Universe has been bringing me the most incredible of gifts for many months already! This is because I believe that healthy, happy, holy and healing circumstances are in my life. Only more will follow!

We are the most powerful beings on the planet! We can use our power to bring the positive into our lives, or we can use it to bring doom, gloom, and lack. We get a choice.

What do you choose?

Happy New Year!

Barbara
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